spasms of sorrow, torrents of tears

i heaved myself onto the top level of my double bunk bed, arms and legs aching from the intense game of football in my school hall hours before.

thoughts swirling, muscles burning, sentimental my chemical romance streaming into my ears from my mp3, my palm almost randomly made for my mobile beside.

as i skimmed through my camera album containing 1800++ photos dating back to 16th Sept 2007, an overwhelming sense of nostalgia brimmed over, sending me into fits of melancholia.

photos..

mementos reminding of the very moments i've had before being sent here by destiny......

kuanny; yong xiang; peeli; wei chia ~ 16/11/2007

yuew yang

2008 hill-climbing competition

3TA4 ~ 2009

"For the world has changed, and we must change with it."

- Barack Obama in his inauguration address, 20 Jan 2009

yes we can?

it is never easy for me accept change. let alone a substantial one.

December 2008..

the moment i received a warm welcome.....

the moment i settled down into my hostel room....

i knew. there was no turning back...><

sure, i've had some close friends along with me

like yong xiang..

along with a few new friends i've made here...

shao zchuen

jun hong

yong en

looking back......

yes, together we've had some fun times..

i appreciate it..^^

and though i'm one of the proud malaysians to bring glory to my hostel in football tournaments....

but gone,

gone were the futsal days with my footy buddies....

gone were the days i played in my porch......

gone were the days i go on lantern parades with my bro around the neighbourhood...

gone were the days i read The Star every morning

gone were the days we stand unbeaten as the feared CLHS DEBATE TEAM...

as i gradually adapted to this chaotic metropolis.....

i've became aware of how relaxing life was before.

i've became aware of how much i slacked in sec school.

i've became aware of what i want in life.

i've became more familiar with the stranger within me.

my fellow scholarmates celebrate their birthdays as the days go

i did too.....

i received lots of birthday presents from classmates and schoolmates and friends yes.......

but what i actually want are gifts gifted simply with heart.....

like this craftily crafted keychain crafted by a craftsman with craftsmanship

and as i sank the knife into my cake...

my brain was awash with thoughts....

i could've done this with my family around me......

i could've done this with my penang friends around me....

but i no longer have the chance......

i have no choice but to lead my life myself...........

alone.........

 

everytime i pass the s'pore-johor border to return to penang.......

bright thoughts congest my brain, just like how vehicles congest the customs

and everytime i fly past the familiar vessels on the singaporean sea on the way back.......

and the industrial parks off changi airport.........

everytime the wheels of the plane thuds against the ground.....

i gather my heavy luggage with an equally heavy mood....

'back to cold, harsh reality.' ><

PRESSURE.

well, i guess thats pretty much what all of my scholarmates experience......

but nvm.

可我并不在乎压力的冲击，因为人是在披荆斩棘、乘风破浪中茁壮，成熟的，不是吗？

- adapted with permission from kuan eu june's speech during 口语训练

awww.

well, good luck to all of us.